Doula Support

Doula Support

As of today I have received my doula certification and have attended 5 births. I’ve had some clients deliver with an epidural and others who did not. I’ve been in attendance during vaginal deliveries as well as cesarean sections. Some clients were medically induced while others experienced spontaneous labor at home. After some births, my body has been physically drained and sore. After other births, I feel energized and ready to take on the rest of my day. The support I’ve provided has been as diverse as each of the women receiving the support.

Since I have begun my doula training, I vowed to myself to be dedicated to learning about research and evidence-based information. My dedication was due to apprehension that I would find an overwhelming amount of misinformation based on fear, old wives tales, and anecdotes. I have been pleasantly surprised by the volume of research that is available and the dedication of other birth workers in obtaining and sharing information based on research, data, and statistics.

The majority of my interest lies in helping my clients manage their pain and discomfort during labor and delivery. Three themes keep showing up: support, placebo effects, and perception of pain. These themes are a reminder of the power of the mind.

People feel and perform better when they perceive themselves to be in supportive environments. Support is relative and varies by individual and preferences. If my clients get what they want, they will feel supported and have a more satisfying birthing experience.

A client who gets an epidural after wanting a completely natural birth will feel dissatisfied. A client who gets an epidural after expecting, wanting and requesting it, will feel satisfied. It isn’t the epidural it’self that is causing these feelings, however, it is the expectations around the birthing experience. When our expectations are met, we feel content and fulfilled.

Since coming to this realization I have shifted the conversations that I have with my clients from spewing information and tricks of the trade to me listening to their hopes, wishes, and fears. I don’t have a magical doula wand or pixie dust that eliminates pain but I do have some experience, an ear to listen, a heart filled with good intention and a bag with some tools to help my clients customize a birthing experience that they won’t want to forget.

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My June

My June

I resigned from my position as a Case Manager on June 14th, which marked the end of getting paid for full-time work but it did not mark the end of my grinding spirit nor busy lifestyle. Up until that point, I was working three jobs, managing a new blog, planning a wedding and paying special attention to my daughter’s evolving needs of me as she grows and matures.

On June 14th I also hopped on a plane and flew across the country to one of my favorite cities, LA. You can read more about my trip by clicking on this link. I returned just in time to begin to prepare my daughter for her senior dance and elementary school graduation.

Her graduation was scheduled for Wednesday morning, June 20th. On June 19th, just the day before, I got word from my client that she believed she was in the beginning stages of labor. I got my doula bag together and began to mentally prepare for a birth, dangerously close to an important milestone in my daughter’s life. I had to push through the thought that I could miss either of these very important occurrences. I didn’t want to have to make a choice between them, so I didn’t.

At 2:57am on Wednesday, my client’s husband called to inform me that they were on their way to the hospital as her contractions were increasing in intensity and frequency. As he updated me on the phone, I was carefully listening to my client’s moans in the background. She sounded as though she was in mid-late labor and I hoped and guessed that she had labored long enough at home, meaning that she just may be nearly ready to deliver by the time she arrived at the hospital. I took the leap of faith that there was no need to contact my backup doula to cover for me. I felt nervous and mildly confident that I could attend her birth and Jayda’s graduation.

She delivered around 6am that morning. I had enough time to marvel at her strength, admire the new family and make sure the baby was latching on well, go home, shower and run out to Jayda’s graduation. I even had time to get flowers and a good seat. Immense relief, a huge deep breath, and a shit ton of gratitude.

My little girl is no longer an elementary school student and she will be attending the School of the Future in the fall. As this was our first pick for middle school, I am extremely proud of Jayda and excited for everything in store for her.

Her senior dance was the following Friday. Jayda and all her friends looked beautiful and had a great time at their masquerade ball themed celebration!

On the 26th, my second client of the month delivered her baby and it was also amazing. I love my job!

On the 27th I saw my wedding dress for the first time in months! It’s still beautiful and still the one! I’m growing more and more excited for our big day as we get closer to it. Plus, my bride tribe and I have started planning a bachelorette/bridal shindig that I’m also looking forward to.

June felt jam-packed, but everything fit. And there’s lots more to come.

Working Together To Improve Birth Outcomes

Working Together To Improve Birth Outcomes

I find that in many cases, people tend to be of the opinion that life is either black or it is white. You are a man or a woman. You are a liberal or a conservative. You either believe in God or in Science. You are gay or you are straight. As time goes on, people who live in shades of gray are helping others to see the true broadness of life by being vocal about where they stand on all these spectrums that make up individuality.

There are people who were born with male genitalia, but identify as women and are sexually attracted to both. There are people who are conservative on issues of women’s reproductive rights and liberal when talking about the legalization of marijuana. I am of the opinion that the best way to improve birth outcomes is through the joining of modern medicine and tradition midwifery ideals because it has been my experience that seemingly opposing views, tend to work well when combined.

Imagine a world, where doulas and midwives work with clients to provide safe, comfortable and supportive birthing environments, right next to traditional medical personnel who are providing medical oversight, as necessary. These two notions need not be in contradiction to one another. The best possible outcome is when all supports can work together to give a pregnant person what they need in all areas, emotionally, physically and medically.

I have a friend who shares many things in common with me. When I go through something difficult, I know that I can go to her for complete understanding and camaraderie. We can talk for hours about all of our shared experiences and feelings. I find this type of support to be necessary for my growth as a human being. I need to feel like I’m not the only one going through certain challenges and I gain strength from knowing this, but growth cannot stop there. I know that without our awareness, we can sometimes get caught in a cycle of venting, which can be dangerous. I’m lucky though. While I have this friend, I also have my fiance. My fiance pushes me to take action. It is because of the type of support that he offers, that I’ve made many of the lifestyle changes that are leading me to be a better, stronger and wiser human. But when he pushes me, I sometimes feel rushed, unprepared and unsupported. It is the combination of ideals that lead me to feel fully backed, in a very wholesome way. Supported to cry, whine and complain, and equally as important, I feel supported to act on the areas where I feel dissatisfied.

I believe the same applies to improving birth outcomes. We need a balance of the knowledge of modern medicine, which can save lives, in combination with the knowledge of traditional midwifery, which can prevent birth trauma and improve overall experiences. We need both and we need to work together.